Cracking My Egg

Once it was my favorite time of year, now the holidays are difficult for me. From Halloween until the New Year was joyous. Then my world and I changed.
Fifteen or so years ago my ex announced she wanted a divorce. That crushed my heart and my world. I’ve never found another person to share life. For a while I looked. That was a waste of time. I think finding another partner was never in the cards. I have accepted that.
Eleven years ago in late October and early November my parents died two weeks apart. They were the last spark of holiday joy. My mom was the spirit of Christmas in our family.
My children were grown and gone. With my wife and children gone and my parents gone I can’t muster up any holiday cheer though I try.
There is so much grief associated with holidays.

This year I’ve gotten a holiday cheer boost. A child is spending November and December in the rig. He brings his own holiday joy and it’s contagious I need more new good Christmas memories like this.

I read somewhere one should name their holiday grief. Name it and honor it. This year my holiday grief is the memories of good Christmas celebrations in my parent’s home. I’ll light a candle and place it on the not-an-altar.

I feel like I’m rambling so I think I’ll stop.

Thank you for stopping in. Your visits, likes, and comments are greatly appreciated . Stay safe and well out there in the CCE. Wishing you love and joy.

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Not suitable for the narrow minded.